It is not your job to save people

business of people english Jul 20, 2022


I've got a semi-public announcement to make lol 

For anyone who runs a business/ facility for or with people & all ( obsessive/ compulsive ) healers & helpers… 

Here is some controversial news! It is not your job to save people.



How do you know you are a helper/ healer? 


  • it’s compulsive: you must help/ heal
  • you are inclined to pull in the most “interesting cases” so it’s worth the challenge 
  • you feel bad after meeting with them
  • you judge yourself ( for never getting it right )



Here comes the hero that saves the day...


In a world where saving and helping are deemed noble, kind, caring & selfless and all those other glorifying & romantic ways to portray the phenomenon of saving someone or something.

I have come to discover it stems from a superior viewpoint one has “ that someone needs your help “ so basically you are telling them you are better than them. 

And its intrinsic motivation rarely sprouts from altruism, meaning if it is not about empowering someone to be more of them, you are doing it for you (it gives someone purpose, control, validation, feel better about themselves and their life, projection ones stuff onto someone… just to name a few ) 

In my interesting self-discovery journey and exploration in this area, I would even dare to say that offering your opinion is a disguised way of superiorness. 



You are not wrong if you help/ heal.

It is more often than not an unacknowledged, underdeveloped, and misunderstood capacity and ability to change the unchangeable.  


Some important key pointers: 

  • Usually, people don’t really ask for your help, they ask to be seen, heard & acknowledged. 
  • Even if they did, what is the most empowering thing you could offer right now? 
  • Stay in the question. I’m I helping or empowering? 
  • If I did not help, what could I create with this capacity that is generative? 



Its an ability

One of the abilities we have as a healer\ helper is to have our energetic tentacles out in their world or in their body, to fix something ( make them happy, better, healthy, etc ) 

  • Am I helping? Pull your tentacles back.
  • Is it empowering and it is a yes? —> how much can they receive that will not burden* me? 
  • *Ever gifted someone something and got it returned with a dagger attached? That is when it becomes a burden on you. 



It’s a fine line.

And if you desire to stop saving people and into empowering, you have to begin by being honest & clear about why you are doing it for. So you can trust yourself with this ability and learn to yield its power. 


Be kind. Be kind to you, be kind to people. 


It’s okay where we are in life. Let us all discover for ourselves why we are in for it, what we are capable of & what we desire to create, this lifetime.



My latest inner musings & a warm hello from a hot & sunny Belgium. 

Feel free to say hello or add anything that contributes to this quest, exploration and ongoing conversation to be free through consciousness and self-development. 


What did you come here to be this lifetime around? 

ivy xxx



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